Hard​-​Won Fight and Other Stories

by Travis Atwell

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Robots, heart-borne ballads, some country twang, a satire about a certain Head of State... You know. Something for everyone.

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released March 12, 2017

Written, recorded, performed, and produced by Travis Atwell

Album art by Mark Jabourian

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all rights reserved

about

Travis Atwell Radford, Virginia

Travis Atwell is, foremost, a passionate believer in the power of storytelling and language. He has been writing songs for nearly a decade, capturing the highest and the lowest emotional and experiential images of youth and young adulthood.His music is designed to create an intimate, refined, and emotional experience that glides seamlessly between introspective melancholy and unbridled fun. ... more

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Track Name: Play Dead
And sometimes it feels
like all of the world
is falling apart
around me

And sometimes it feels
like all of my plans
are starting to tear at the seams
I feel my highs are low in multiplying frequency

And sometimes it feels
like all of my friends
they aren't the same
as they used to be

You didn't anticipate
that I'd move away
to figure my shit out

And all of your boys
and all my girls
well, we were just messing around

You took my white light
and buried it
beneath your shade

Hoping someday
that I'll figure out
to learn how to act my own age

Chorus:
And everyone has a chance
to replace me
I never notice
I just hide away
in my head

All my fears, they come out
and they face me
I run away
I hide away
and play dead

Everyone has a chance
to debase me
I never notice
I just hide away
in my head

I never notice
I just hide away in my head
I never notice
I just hide away in my head
I never notice
I just hide away
and play dead
Track Name: I Killed a Robot (With my Bare Hands)
I killed a robot with my bare hands
I cracked its code, put in a self-destruct command

I don't know why I did it
I think I wanted to be cool

I went to Mars and built a parking lot
I figure soon they're gonna put a mall around

Tear down Olympus Mons
and put an outlet on the moon

Chorus:

I've lived a hundred thousand lifetimes
more than you
And when I die I'll just come back
as someone new

I went to space
inside a light wave
You haven't lived
until you've lived it my way

I am coming to get you

I wrote a book but not the last page
You know that I could never stand an ending anyway

Maybe I'll read it someday
When I'm in a better mood

I went in time to see the old day
I met Siddhartha and he took me to his happy place

Well I was disappointed
he didn't offer me any food

Chorus
-robots cheer in mechanical jubilation-
Track Name: Hard-Won Fight
The minute you walked in the room
I was high
for a moment
I cast away my life

The minute you put your hand
under my arm
my heart stopped
and reasoning was gone

The minute you pulled the wool
over my eyes
was the moment I noticed
I was blind

Chorus:

Is it my body
Is it my soul
Well I've got nothing to prove

Is it the way I
never let go
Well it's a hard-won fight
but I'll lose

You're moving through shadows
swimming through words
and you promise
it's never gonna hurt

You're breaking my bones
and healing the wound
Well I left the
best of me with you

The minute you walked in the room
I was high
for a moment
I cast away my life

Chorus
Track Name: I Might
You sang when I spoke
You married my mind
Not for an answer I don't need
This time

You came in my life like
Somebody I've known
For a long time, well I might feel
I'm right at home

Chorus:

Break apart my dreams
Once more and I never really know why

Take it all from me
Well baby I might

You're cut from the cloth
The same one as I
I never want to go back to sleep
alone at night

You're flooding my eyes
I shut them tight, lose control
and I feel like
I'm going home

Chorus

You're biting your lip
I'm holding my tongue
They unravel with a word
That might offend someone

I'm holding my head up
You stand on your toes
I feel like I'm
going home

Chorus
Track Name: Complex Man
I'm the kind of lie you always want to hear
I'm the embodiment of all your darkest fears

I'm like a bicycle that's missing both its wheels
I'm like a thief who breaks in every night but never steals
Anything of value

And I'm a pioneer of subterfuge and lies
A cardboard cutout is an excellent disguise

If you look close you'll see the hunger in my eyes
You feel like coming but you never can decide
If you want to

I can see the trouble in anything
I could ever be

Chorus:

Complex man
Nobody ever understands
My complex plan
Well I don't have one

I take your ridicule and turn it into power
proclaim my thoughts at every godforsaken hour

Don't give a damn about the damage I can do
You're the dynamite, and baby I'm the fuse
You light it

You lose yourself, I walk upon a stage
You might despise me, but at least you know my name

I act the part, but I'll never act my age
You wrote a history, I tore out all the pages

I can see the trouble in anything
I can ever be

Chorus

I gave a voice to those who always spoke the loudest
I gave a medal to the country who's the proudest

My lack of decency is something I designed
Out of many I'm just one of a kind

Chorus

You can see the trouble in anything
I could ever be
Track Name: Why Do I Keep Living in the Past?
You kicked the shit right out of me
in front of all of our friends
(well you're drunk, well you're drunk, well you're drunk girl)

It started slipping out of me
it's where my sanity ends
(what you done, what you done, what you done girl)

Well I think
you've had faces
you won't get past
(what you done, what you done, what you done girl)

You made a logical error
but it can happen now and then
(it can happen now and then, I think you know this)

You made a fool of me in front of mine and yours
and all of our friends
(I don't even talk to half of them anymore, but still)

Chorus:

Well I think you've had places you won't get back
So why do I keep living in the past

You took simple situation
and made it overly complex
(I think it's pretty cut and dry when you break it down enough)

It's under my skin
but I'm trying my best
(I don't have anything to say, I think I've said enough)

I recruited the best of them
to come to my rescue
(he was a young man, she was a young girl)

I was a captive of every idea
I ever had of you
(I was drunk, I was drunk, I was drunk girl)

Chorus
Track Name: No One Heard a Thing
It started out like this
I
removed remorse from all my actions
your distractions
were all I ever craved for comfort
I had dreams but
you made me want to let them go

And it's getting to the point
where
all my mistakes no longer make sense
I must face them
but my patience turned to anger
I had reasons
I never wanted you to know

Chorus:

And we were capsized, falling over
breathless bodies
holding on to anything
that we could find at all

And we were cast into the ocean
call out, no one
ever heard a thing
we said at all

And you catalyze my taste
for
the sound of other people's voices
howling nightly
I messed it up and I met
someone I thought
I'd never really even know

Chorus:

And we were damned before we ever
even started
holding on to something
we knew that we'd already lost

And we were cast into the ocean
call out, no one
ever heard a thing
we said at all

Oh no one heard a thing

And you drive me to the brink
of
a death that's slow and sweet and painless
numbness takes us
I lost myself and I went
somewhere I thought
I'd never really even go

Chorus
Track Name: Calling Me Under
My body's aching me
no thoughts, no energy now

I've lost my sympathy
my head is telling me how

I turned my back on the light
I want no one around

Swallow my heart like a song
I cannot hear a sound

Chorus:

It's calling me under
makes my mind
higher than I need to be tonight

It's calling me under

I never learned how to fight
I just learned how to read

Falling inside little worlds in my head
I believe

Chorus
Track Name: Ways About Things
I feel ways about things
that don't really make much sense at all

And I hope and I pray
that all my dreams aren't bound to fall away

I keep God at hand
I never know when I'm gonna need

A helping hand
The lord above seems awfully far away

It's awfully far away

I feel ways about things
that don't really make much sense at all

And I hope and I pray
That all my dreams aren't bound to fall away
Track Name: Bonus: No One Heard a Thing (Acoustic)
(same as track 7, but more acoustic-y)

It started out like this
I
removed remorse from all my actions
your distractions
were all I ever craved for comfort
I had dreams but
you made me want to let them go

And it's getting to the point
where
all my mistakes no longer make sense
I must face them
but my patience turned to anger
I had reasons
I never wanted you to know

Chorus:

And we were capsized, falling over
breathless bodies
holding on to anything
that we could find at all

And we were cast into the ocean
call out, no one
ever heard a thing
we said at all

And you catalyze my taste
for
the sound of other people's voices
howling nightly
I messed it up and I met
someone I thought
I'd never really even know

Chorus:

And we were damned before we ever
even started
holding on to something
we knew that we'd already lost

And we were cast into the ocean
call out, no one
ever heard a thing
we said at all

Oh no one heard a thing

And you drive me to the brink
of
a death that's slow and sweet and painless
numbness takes us
I lost myself and I went
somewhere I thought
I'd never really even go

Chorus